Friendflation, the phenomenon where your friend group hits a certain point in life and suddenly all think they’re a Kardashian – fancy dinners, designer vacations, tickets to all the hip shows. It’s all fun until you realize that having friends is costing you your financial freedom.
Getting older, societal pressure and cultural expectations can change our friendships. Fun friend activities evolve from board game nights in the each other’s cramped apartments to ski weekends at a resort. Or thrift store hopping to second home shopping. Its not always financially healthy, or necessary for us to be swept away by such trends.
So, is it possible to invest in our financial freedom and have friends? Yes, but it does take some effort and a little courage!
Here’s 5 tips to help you balance your budget without losing your crew.
Tip 1: Have a “No Shame” Policy
You’re not a bad friend because you don’t want to drop $200 on tapas and craft cocktails every weekend.
But saying no to things can make you feel like you’re letting people down. You can feel guilt and shame for not always being able to do whatever your friends want to do.
Remind yourself that financial boundary setting is an act of self-respect, and is nothing to be feel bad about.
Tip 2: Redirect the Plan
Instead of being the person who always says no, be the person who suggests something better…better for your wallet, at least.
Friend: “Let’s check out that new rooftop lounge!” You: “How about a potluck picnic? I’ll bring sangria!”
Even better, be the one to initiate fun plans that are healthy for socialization and your financial goals. Your friends might appreciate your creativity and consideration. Maybe they are just not as inspired as you to think outside the box.
Tip 3: Budget for the Yes Moments
Sometimes you’ll want to say yes to the bougie brunch or the weekend getaway. And that’s okay!
Build a “friendflation fund” into your budget. It’s like an emergency fund, but for when Sarah inevitably plans her bachelorette weekend hitting every winery in Sonoma.
Say yes strategically, not impulsively.
Tip 4: Check Your Financial Ego
Sometimes friendflation stings because it triggers feelings of insecurity. It’s easy to see your friends’ spending as a reflection of where you’re lacking. But here’s the truth: their spending is about them and their money stories, not you.
People spend for all sorts of reasons, to feel successful, to celebrate, or even to fill a void. None of that has anything to do with you. Remind yourself of what’s driving your own financial choices: your goals, your values, and your journey.
If you’re feeling left-out or left-behind, redirect that energy into gratitude for the path you’re carving out for yourself.
Tip 5: Don’t Be Afraid to Get Real
If friendflation is becoming a real problem in your relationship, its time to have a conversation.
“I’d love to hang out more, but I’m trying to save for [insert dream goal]. Seems like your spending and savings goals are a bit different. Can we mix in some budget-friendly plans?”
An honest talk about money and life goals can be transformative in a friendship. It can turn a friend into a good friend, or even a great friend. It can also help you realize those “friends” that need to be shown the door – regardless how fun they are at brunch.
Make Forever Friends and Flexible Budgets
Friendflation is a real thing. As we age, people’s circumstances change, and society can nudge us all towards inflating our lifestyles. But, if your goal is financial independence, you are not served by the keeping up with the Kardashians lifestyle.
Striving for financial freedom should not come at the cost of being of hermit, though. But, by staying true to your values, getting creative, and keeping the conversation real, you can navigate the tricky balance between making friends and keeping budgets.
After all, real friends don’t care if you show up in last season’s shoes or bring boxed wine to the party. They care that you’re there.
And while money won’t hold your hair when you’re puking, we shouldn’t need to go into debt for friendship.
What do you think, is Friendflation putting pressure on you and your crew? Are you ready to take brave action to improve your finances and your friendships? Comment below and tell me what you plan to do today.
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